Here’s a plan to get through hair sytlist’s smokescreen

Illustration by Melanie DeLoach.
Illustration by Melanie DeLoach.

Dear Aunt Lil,

What a smoky quandary I’m in.

Recently, I had to find a new hair stylist; my previous favorite one here in town moved to Charlotte with her family. I heard tons of great recommendations on this new stylist and I have loved the styles/cuts that she has given to a number of my friends and now to me.

Here is the problem. When I go for my appointments with her, I can smell cigarette smoke on her. It is a very, very strong smell and I am highly sensitive to smoke odor. It typically triggers me to start coughing.

I would hate to quit going to my stylist, but I’m afraid to sit through a haircut that I fear one of my ears might get nicked or worse.

Should I speak to her about this or should I keep this to myself and begin the hunt for a new hair stylist again?

All Choked Up

Dear All Choked Up,

Isn’t it great that Halloween is right around the corner? You will be searching for a fireman’s costume or at least the big hat to wear to your next appointment. Or, go before then if you just can’t wait to spring a surprise on Miss Smoky Girl.

Don your costume and carry a spray bottle of water into the beauty shop.

Rush over to Miss Smoky Girl and spray her while you say loudly, “I had a call that you were on fire and that smoke was coming out of your mouth and nose. Don’t you know that smoking will kill you, decay your teeth and give you cigarette breath? Are you aware that smoking can constrict your blood vessels and give you heart trouble”?

Spray her again and continue:

“Do you know that I am highly allergic to second-hand and first-hand smoke and that’s why I cough my head off when you are trying to cut my hair?”

Spray her again and wait for her to gain her composure and speak.
The other ladies in the shop will think it’s all a big joke and will be laughing their permed heads off. You and Miss Smoky Girl will know it’s a real message to her.

She will stammer, “Mrs. _______, I had no idea that smoke affected you so badly. I’m going to let Caroline cut your hair from now on. She doesn’t smoke. I think that will solve the problem and thanks for telling me in such a funny way. “

Now take the fireman costume back to the shop and pick up some groovy costume like Barbara Eden’s genie costume. Since your naval will be showing, perhaps you could go wild and have your naval pierced! What a fun day this will be for you!

Solving Problems is My Game,

Aunt Lil

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